I can’t believe that it is February already. Mind you, a lot
of water has passed under the bridge in the last month. We started by, for the first
time ever, not celebrating the start of the New year. However, the remains of
the hip operation in the previous month meant that discretion should be the
better part, and we just went to bed and got a good night’s sleep, It also
meant that we did quite a bit of home entertaining instead of going out, and my
first venture into the Big Wide World was to go the Halstead Jazz Club’s Big
Band performance. For details go to http://halsteadjazzclubbigband.com/
for details. They really are a talented lot, and when they get going it is a
wonderful sound. We are very grateful to Peter and Judy for introducing us.
The next outing was to Chichester – and Goodwood where we
stayed in the Goodwood Hotel. Very nice hotel, but it shares the building with
the Golf Club. The restaurant is not very capacious, so it gets booked up
quickly, and if you are not careful you end up eating in the Bar and Grill,
which is the Golf Club bar. I suppose there may be another bar or the golfers
as well, but the Bar and Grill is a fair walk along corridors from the hotel –
which, being on 2 sticks, I did not appreciate. The visit to Chichester was to
the theatre, who were presenting “Art” which is a 1996 play originally written
in French. It won all sorts of awards, but it really does not have a plot.
There is only one act, and the whole play was over in 90 minutes, although it
was billed as lasting a little longer. Fundamentally it is a conversation
between 3 friends which starts off as friendly, rapidly turns into a huge
argument about the merits of a £200,000 painting which one of them has bought,
and which is, in fact, a completely empty white canvas. The conversation is
brilliant, and eventually ends with them making up and going out for a meal
together. A real one-off.
Having had a replacement hip in December, at the end of
January I had a cataract operation, which means having a new lens in my eye.
The other eye will be done later in February. It all seems to have gone Ok, but
I shall probably have to have a check-up some time fairly soon. It’s all a bit
limiting, but at least I shall be able to drive again in a couple of days.
All in all, a pretty uneventful month. Even the weather has
been uneventful. While the rest of the country seems to have suffered an icy
blast, with snow and ice, we have got away with it, with nothing more than a
light dusting.
Thanks to Alan for the following:
A thief entered a
house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to
hand over the jewellery and money.
The man started
sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can kill me but
please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must
really love your wife!”
Man: “No, but
she will be home shortly”.
And…
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted
after an 18-hour shift.
Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal
thermometer out of her handbag and tries to write with it.
When she realises her mistake, she looks at the
flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:
'Well, that's great . . . just great!!
Some arsehole's got my pen!'
And
also – go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-LTRwZb35A&feature=youtu.be
And Then:
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, Better think it over…..women like that are hard to find.”
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, Better think it over…..women like that are hard to find.”
+++
Have you got the right sex insurance?
You can now get Sex Insurance in the UK.
To make sure you get the correct insurance
for the sex you are having check the list below.
Sex with your Wife – Legal &
General
Sex on the Telephone – Direct Line
Sex with your Partner – Standard Life
Sex with Someone Different – Go Compare
Sex with a Lady of Generous Portions –
More than
Sex on the Back Seat of a Car – Sheila’s
Wheels
Sex with a Prostitute – Commercial Union
Sex with your Maid – Employers’ Liability
Sex with an OAP – SAGA
Sex resulting in Pregnancy – General
Accident
Sex with an Agriculturalist – Farmers’
Union
Sex with a Monk – Abbey Life
Sex with Naval Officers - Admiral
Group
And finally
Sex with a Transvestite – Confused.com
About all for now. It sounds as though the weather is
warming up. Hooray
Ta ta for now.
