Swimming has gone to pot, I am afraid. I have developed a pinched nerve in my neck, which makes it agony to swim backstroke as you have to tuck your chin in a bit while you are doing it, and that is a movement that hurts. So its been off to the osteopath, which is a profession that I really do not understand. Somehow, by tucking her hands under my shoulder blades while I am lying on my back and gently twitching her fingertips once every ten seconds or so she achieves results. One of these was to make me feel very queasy, but I am assured that this can happen, and it does not matter.
Actually, I am a bit fragile today because Leon (no. 2 son) had his 40th birthday party last night, and today we were invited to a Coronation Commemorative lunch, and I seem to have got outside quite a lot of bubbly. But it is all in a good cause.
Last week we had the 2 grand-daughters to stay for the week because Leon and wife went to Singapore on business. We gave them some contacts, but they were not given the chance to do their own thing, so we will have to write to our friends and explain why nothing happened. But at least I now know where Singapore is. The two girls, in the meantime, went on a 3-day adventure course not far from where we live, and it poured with rain every day while they did everything from skiing to Archery, with rock climbing and bush craft thrown in. A good time was had by all, but I think they now will have webbed feet.
During May we went to the theatre to see the Pitmen Painters - a play based on fact about some miners during the war that discovered that they had artistic talents for which people were prepared to pay, and the social upsets that that produced. Very enjoyable. Also to an Old School reunion for people living in the south-east. The numbers at these things get fewer and fewer, so I suppose that today's forty year olds have found better things to do with their spare time than to keep up old acquaintance. Pity, really. But we hope to make up for it on the 1 July when we get to meet an old school friend from Canada who is calling in to London.
We also managed a week in Scotland with all travel more or less free, including the hire car, courtesy of Avios, etc. Got to Inverness to see an old friend who still rides his motor cycle combination. A fearsome beast - the bike I mean, but very impressive. Then back to the borders to see the in-laws, Sonia's sister & family. Lovely part of the world. Very interesting to see how the anti-Englishnass of the Scots is being whipped up. We have friends who are rugby union enthusiasts with debenture seats at Twickers and they go to all the international matches in all parts of the world. But they have stopped going to Murrayfield because of the unpleasantness displayed to the English supporters. We do not need that!
About all for the time being. parting shots delivered to me by friends include:
A couple made
a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is
sex after death.
Their biggest
fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long
life together,the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the
first contact:
" Marion
....Marion "
"Is that
you, Bob?"
"Yes,
I've come back like we agreed."
"That's
wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I
get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the
golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a
couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of
greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the
rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then
it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the
next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob!
Are you in Heaven?"
"No --
I'm a rabbit in Somerset
***
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I went
into town and visited a shop.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking
ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about
giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him
an "a**h0le" . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for
having worn-out tyres.
So Mary called him a "sh1t head". He finished the second
ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing
more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.
***
About all for now. Pip Pip
