January started with a promise of new experiences in the electronics field. Firstly we had our broadband upgraded. I suppose it is marginally faster, and the constant interruptions in service due to the copper lines from the exchange being so long, and with so many junctions before they reach us, have stopped. Instead we have a weaker router or hub which means that it loses contact with the computer from time to time, but it is much easier to put right. So I suppose it is an improvement.. Then Sonia and I were given iPhones for Christmas from a generous son. Mine gave up the ghost after 2 weeks, and I have reverted to the old faithful that does not have internet connectivity, but makes phone calls and sends texts with accuracy and precision, and without constantly running out of juice. A charge of my phone lasts a week, which I believe is quite good.
Went to Jersey for lunch early last month - travelled for nothing on accumulated Avios, and had a good lunch with Rotary and saw a lot of friends in the United Club afterwards. Seemed to get through a certain amount of red wine.
Spent a lot of time preparing a quiz for the Bowls Club. This is an annual event, and I have done it for several years. It is a bit of a challenge, because Bidborough has a diverse population. There is a local team of chaps who go to all the pub quizzes for a radius of about 30 miles, and do very well at it, usually winning 2 out of every five, which is not bad going. I like to be able to ensure that they do not win the Bowls Club quiz, but on the other hand there is the WI who are very annoyed if they cannot answer at least 6 out of every ten questions. And as they do much of the catering for the various functions that take place in the village, including my quizzes, it is important that they do not feel disappointed. The trick seems to be to make up all the questions yourself and not rely on the various books of questions that are published, and to use a lot of purely local knowledge. It keeps me out of mischief.
Found an excellent regular jazz evening at a local pub. Every 2 weeks there is a trad jazz band composed of retired session men who have a passion for it, and they are really excellent. One even brought along a bass saxophone. I had not seen one since the days of the temperance seven, who had one for a couple of concerts and then they changed personnel again. They are eye-wateringly expensive - a good quality new one will set you back up to £20,000!
The grand-daughters came to stay this weekend. It is always a problem how to entertain 10 and 11 year-old girls with sophisticated and expensive tastes, so we took them out to celebrate the Chinese New Year. They had spent 10 days or so over Christmas in Singapore and Cambodia, and returned full of knowledge about what to expect from the best Chinese restaurants. I think the waiters were quite impressed. And then we went to the National Film Theatre to see the General - a Buster Keaton film that has been digitally re-mastered without losing any of the original footage. I do not think the girls were terribly impressed when they were told that they were going to see a black and white silent film. However they were transfixed, especially when they understood that there were no stunt men and no special effects, and all the stunts etc. actually happened. Including the bridge over the ravine which breaks under the weight of the train at the end, and the train falls into the river at the bottom of the ravine. It is very spectacular and they actually had to wreck a train to do it. But the simplest things were the best, and they spent hours playing bagatelle on an old board that was bought by my grandfather in 1933.
About all for now. a few bits and pieces of interest that have arrived in my in box during the month:
With the
Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends
about drinking and driving.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.
Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadblock but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise, as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.
Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadblock but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise, as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
*****
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom
because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your
friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wild man.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's
on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she
does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
And a couple of interesting links that are all tried and
tested:
Have a good February.
