I started this blog on the first of the month and
then things rather overtook me and it is now the 10th! Not clever.
Last month was a bit of an eye-opener. We went to
London to a rather good wine and cheese tasting in Upper Thames Street, and the
obvious terminus was Cannon Street, as the venue was only about a quarter of a mile
down the road. Up till now that would have been merely an effort, but it seems
that anno domini is creeping up as it was really quite difficult to manage with
only a walking stick. I am a bit reluctant to go back to elbow crutches, but it
may have to be that way if I am to get to the places that I want to visit. The
last doctor that I saw thought that I had ankylosing spondylitis but a blood
test was inconclusive, whilst the physio thought I had arthritis in my
sacro-iliac joint. Neither is good news, as neither is curable.
Grandchildren seem to be playing a greater part in
our lives than I had thought they would – the girls in Dulwich want to come and
have sleep-overs here in Tonbridge, which is fine, although finding
entertainment for 12 and 13 year-olds is challenging. I must find somewhere
where they can learn to row, as they seem not to have done so yet. And the
Medway is quite close. Looking through the old photos, which I am doing to sort
out the rubbish (views of holidays that have never been looked at, and of which
I cannot remember the locations!) has revealed some treasures! But I found that
the boys learnt to row on the canals, when we used to beg, borrow or hire
narrow boats for holidays, and we had bought a small plastic dinghy for them to
learn on. It went everywhere on the roof of the car!
Went to see Alice Through the Looking Glass, which
was quite good – they built a full length feature film from 2 pages of the Mad
Hatter’s Tea Party, which is in Alice in Wonderland and not Through the Looking
Glass anyway. I must get out more!
Assorted visits to Sherborne to see Neil’s house,
which is beginning to change – at least the garden is! We stay at a pub which
has the best accessible bathroom that I have seen – a full wet room, with ample
grab-rails and a fabulous shower that must pump out a gallon of hot water every
minute!
Assorted bridge games keep us occupied during the
evenings, and Rotary still going strong at lunch time. And I have begun to go
back to Lodge meetings in London after 18 months off, when it was all too
difficult to manage.
GETTING
MARRIED IN THEIR OLDER YEARS
Jack,
age 92, and Gill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go in.
Jack addresses the man behind the counter:
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go in.
Jack addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jack: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jack: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds"
Jack: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jack: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist:
"Yes"
Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for
Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We do..."
Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and walking sticks?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"
Pharmacist: "Yes."
Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."
Jack: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jack: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for
Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jack: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We do..."
Jack: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and walking sticks?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jack: "Adult incontinence pants?"
Pharmacist: "Yes."
Jack: "Then we'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."
+++
Just wish Jon Stewart would be a little
more specific with his comments.....
But it is quite an entertaining web
site – and moves on with time…
Go to:
+++
VERY FUNNY – Not for KIDS
TO HEAR !!!!!!!!!!!
+++
I
took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 76).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours - green, red,
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours - green, red,
Orange, and
blue.
My dad kept staring at her.
The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time..
When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked:
My dad kept staring at her.
The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time..
When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked:
"What's
the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not
choke
on his response; I knew he would have a good one!
In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ....
"Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid."
In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ....
"Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid."
+++
Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books,
'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report, with the
proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton: Cost - $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden
love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden
love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets
ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember anything.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica.. Ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same
thing
+++
Newest Electric Car
+++
I loved this
BEWARE THE YOUNG, AND A
GREAT MANY OF THE ELDERS, THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE BECOMING IN NEED
OF,,,,,,,,,,,BELIEVE IT.
+++
THINK
THAT YOU HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING?....
Well,
just watch this!
+++
Most
of the newest cars have a Back-Up Sensor that warns the driver before the
rear bumper actually comes in contact with something.
Most people probably think that this valuable feature came out of the minds of engineers, but it was recently disclosed that the concept was first developed by a Chinese farmer.
His invention was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitched squeal when the vehicle backs into something.
Most people probably think that this valuable feature came out of the minds of engineers, but it was recently disclosed that the concept was first developed by a Chinese farmer.
His invention was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitched squeal when the vehicle backs into something.
+++
THIS ONE IS
A KEEPER - STOW IT AWAY IN A FILE FOR REFERENCE.
CLICK
ON ANY PHOTO FROM 1960 to 2013 & THE
RELEVANT HIT SONG WILL PLAY.
Enjoy!
Click below:
+++
If
you haven’t seen this one before, it is worth watching…
UNUSUAL
FLYING OVER AMERICA, 5 JANUARY 2016
NB: Joe Morello was the pilot and John Prostka his
photographer/trusted mechanic.
That’s all, folks!
Clive
