March started unpromisingly with our going to an alleged comic called Al Murray, who was consistently unfunny, and we walked out after the first half. He puts on some sort of an act as an inn-keeper, but there was a lot of audience interaction, which did not make us laugh, and a fair amount of language which I personally do not object to if it is amusing, but this, frankly was not. Avoid the man like the plague. Pity, really because we had seen him on 'Breakfast' on BBC 1 and he has very funny then.
Rotary does mock interviews for some of the local school-leavers, and I took part for the second time. One of the more useful things that we do. It was interesting, because although the pupils have - or say they have - classes in leaving school and getting a job, none of the ones we saw seemed to understand that when an employer advertises a job he will have two or three hundred applications, and the first weed-out will take all out except the 20 best. To avoid being discarded at this stage the applicant needs to have something that will make him stand out from the rest. They all seemed to understand the need to emphasise their team playing abilities, but we had a girl who was into extreme sports, and she did not understand that this would be of interest to employers with whom she hoped to get a job - the police. And so on. I think it may be pone of the more useful things that our Club does, but there are not a lot of volunteer interviewers.
I ran the bowls club quiz again this year. Copy question sheets for those who are interested, with answers to follow. People seemed to enjoy it, but you do get some awkward characters, so I am careful to make sure that we only have questions that only have one answer.
The a week away - see above - with halts at Bristol to have lunch with my sister-in-law, and then to the New Inn at Coleford. Nice place with good dinners. Then on to see an old school friend at Wadebridge, and then 3 nights at Marazion. Our bedroom faced the end of the causeway to St Michael's Mount, with absolutely nothing between us and the beach. Met another old school friend who lives at Gweek - - and managed to go to the Telegraph Museum at Porthcurnow. Very interesting, with a lot of stuff that I imagined had been forgotten. Then to Montgomery to see my cousin. Lots of snow there - it is the land of frozen sheep, and I do feel sorry for the farmers ho have to put up with all that is going on. Finally to Derbyshire to check on the grandchildren. They still like stories being read to them, and I was pleased that they like Just So Stories, because you can really spread yourself.
Finally to Horseguards in London last Tuesday to see parts that Other Beers Cannot Reach. A friend of mine used to work there, so we went to places that are never open, and saw things like Hitler's desk, - and Wellington's desk too. Down in the basement there is a cockpit that was in use, illegally for long after the practice was banned. They had to turn over the floorboards some time ago because they were too stained with blood for visitors to stomach.
About all this month, although you should read the following. One of the best for many months.
Hasta la vista
I have a little SatNav
I have a little SatNav.
It sits there in my car.
A SatNav is a driver's friend,
It tells you where you are.
I have a little SatNav.
I've had it all my life.
It’s better than the normal ones.
My SatNav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions,
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour," it says,
"You're doing thirty-five."
It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake,
And tells me that it's never, ever
Safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green.
It seems to know instinctively,
Just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account,
It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device,
For when we leave and lock the car,
It still gives its advice
It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught,
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed.
It washes all my shirts and things
And keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I really wish that just for once,
I could ******* turn it off.
