October

Autumn - the allotment is winding down, and there is much to be done clearing out the accumulated weeds and getting new fruit bushes into the ground, thereby limiting further the amount of the proper digging. Hopefully all it will need doing is hoeing, which is easier on the back. Probably won't work out like that, though!

Last month was Sicily - which was excellent. We stayed at a hotel in Catania which had a very large outdoor pool, which was just right. We did not hire a car, and travelled by buis, train and taxi - thereby saving a lot of money. And saw bit of the country that others would not find. There is a tourist train that goes round Etna, - a proper train not one of the little street trains that you get in resorts. The trip takes several hours, and is fascinating. And by bus to Taormina, which is perched on top of an outcrop of rock, and is worth staying at for a few days.

Also to Antigua for a few days. Very pleasant. I learnt that the government have selected consultants to help them re-write the laws in Antigua relating to on-line gambling. The consultants are Catania & Co!

We are off shortly  to Denmark, Germany, Belgium and France. We shall look in on our old friends from Cayman, Gunter and Traute Backer, who now live in Hamburg. The trip starts with a ferry from Harwich to Esbjerg. Not sure about the North Sea in October. Watch this space! And then, later to Lille for the Rotary District Conference. Why Lille? Goodness knows. There are plenty of decent resorts in our own District.

And finally:

Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove...

 
A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related...

 
Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8....

  
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency...

  
Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and  a police woman’s uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him
   
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
 Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
 Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner."

 

  After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full.

 All the best.