We went to see the Mary Rose exhibition at Portsmouth the other day - amazing what they have managed to do with the remains. What I did not realise was that she went down as part of the battle of the Solent in 1545, when the French attempted invasion or Portsmouth harbour was repulsed. However, all of that puts paid to the idea that the earliest ancestor of the Grenyers, Phillipe Grynier, was a prisoner of war taken at the time and imprisoned on the Isle of Wight until being requisitioned by a landowner round the back of Worthing to work on his land. Phillipe was born, it is said, in 1548.
I am reading 'A London Year', which is a collection of diary entries from various people's diaries over the centuries, edited by Travis Elborough and Nick Rennison. You can read it day by day and it only takes a couple of minutes, but it is fascinating to read about what London was like 500 years ago to the day.
Time to clear a bit of space, so I am going to learn how to operate an eBay account. Should be interesting. It's a sort of supplement to Freecycle, which is mainly for clearing stuff which the charity shops do not want, like old ladders, and lengths of timber.
Much of this month will, DV, be mainly taken up by a trip to the Outer Hebrides. More of that later.
An e-mail arrives - ping! It says:
ALEX SALMOND CLASSIC
Alex Salmond was visiting
a Scottish primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr.
Salmond if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.
So the illustrious SNP
leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'.
A little boy stood up and
offered, "If ma best freen, wha’ lives on a ferm, is playin' in the field
and a tractor rins ower him and kills him, that wid be a tragedy."
"Incorrect",
said Alex, in his best trying-not-to-sound-too-patronising-Scottish-accent,
"That would be an accident."
A little girl raised her
hand, "If a school bus kerryin' fifty children drove ow’r a cliff, killing
a'body inside, that wid be a tragedy"
'I'm afraid not',
explained Alex, "that's what we would refer to as a great loss’’.
The room went silent. No
other children volunteered. Alex searched the room.
"Isn't there someone
here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of
the room, a wee lad raised his hand and, in a quiet voice, said: "If a
plane kerryin' you and your deputy ' wiz struck by a 'freendly fire' missile
& blawn tae smithereens, that wid be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!"
exclaimed Alex, "and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Weel", says the
lad, "it has tae be a tragedy, because it certainly widnae be a great
loss, and it probably widnae be an accident either!"
The debate is getting even more personal. Watch this space for more fun!
Also in the post we have seen the following:
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS
AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2013-11-27, 1:43 am . E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black
Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my
girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across
this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologise for
your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I
drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I
was wearing the jacket for a reason - my girlfriend was happy that I just
returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan. She had
just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday,
and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you
agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't
it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun
walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell
phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your
buddies to come help mug us again).
After I called your mother or
"Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire
episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as
those of four other people in the gas station, - on your credit card. The guy
with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless
guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That
made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the
big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I
broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the
car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two
threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense
and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should
apologise for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far
more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you
try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can
only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps
reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next
time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,
Alex
!!!!!
Is This The Best Commercial Ever Made?
?????
GERMAN INGENUITY
Want to see why
the Germans have a positive trade balance, in spite of paying workers some of the highest wages in the world? Watch this:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Renault and Ford
have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
By combining
features of the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus,' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the
average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even
if someone tells him where it is and how to do it....
Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning!
Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning!
Some have
reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get
it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have kerb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the kerb weight typically increases with age.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have kerb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the kerb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers
are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint
may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is
not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease
one, and replace when it becomes troublesome.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
This is worth your time. To learn
English
Fantastic!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you ever wondered why drones are so successful in hitting
the right target, this will explain
all.
Hard to disappear in a crowd.. The Feds can see you everywhere..
Pick on a small part of the crowd click a couple of times -- wait -- click a few more times and see
how clear each individual face will become each time.
This picture was taken with a 70,000 x 30,000 pixel camera
(2100 Mega Pixels.) These cameras are not sold to the public and are being installed in strategic locations.
The camera can identify a face among a multitude of people.
Place your computer’s cursor in the mass of people and double-click a couple times. Scary sharp!!
George Orwell must be smiling somewhere out there.
http://www.gigapixel.com/mobile/?id=79995
Hard to disappear in a crowd.. The Feds can see you everywhere..
Pick on a small part of the crowd click a couple of times -- wait -- click a few more times and see
how clear each individual face will become each time.
This picture was taken with a 70,000 x 30,000 pixel camera
(2100 Mega Pixels.) These cameras are not sold to the public and are being installed in strategic locations.
The camera can identify a face among a multitude of people.
Place your computer’s cursor in the mass of people and double-click a couple times. Scary sharp!!
George Orwell must be smiling somewhere out there.
http://www.gigapixel.com/mobile/?id=79995
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Service
I became
confused when I heard the word 'service' used with these agencies:
Banking 'Service'
Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Pay TV 'Service'
State & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
Bureaucratic 'Service'
My idea of
'Service' seemed to be sadly lacking from all of these agencies.
Then I went to
visit my uncle - he's a farmer.
He had just
bought a bull to 'Service' his cows.
Suddenly WOW!
It all became clear.... Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to
us!
Hahahahaha
Have a good April
