MARCHING ON

1 March already! Not particularly good news - for some reason my back has taken a turn for the worse. It's crutches all the time now, and it looks like trips to London may be difficult. Trying to persuade the NHS to do something is a problem. And when they do, it fails, like the MRI scan when they found that I would not go through the hole - not because of the size of my girth as some have suggested, but because they want you flat on your back without knees drawn up, which I have not been able to do for years. This means a wide open scanner, which is hugely expensive, and they did not have authority to spend that sore of money. I am getting an appointment with a back specialist, but I guess that will not happen any time soon.

Enough of that! Leon has had promotion within Morgan Stanley and was invited to New York - with wife - to meet the top brass. We get a full report at the weekend, but wife came home with a goodie bag worth $1000! I wondered whether they wanted him to do anything different, but apparently he carries on with his work as though nothing has happened. Can't see that lasting for ever.

Work on the house has ceased for a bit - we are saving up for the main bedroom to be gutted and re-done. The last owner managed to put his foot down in the loft above between the joists, so the ceiling has to be re-plastered, which in tour means that the fitted wardrobe has to be removed. As that is a sort of ginger colour, it is not great loss, but its replacement may be a lot more than I think it should be. We shall see.

We are also having plans drawn up to convert the garage into a bedroom on the ground floor, with an en-suite shower room and toilet. Not certain whether this is really what I want, but there may be little choice. I quite like having the tools, and all that, within reach. In Bidborough there was a 100m yard hike to the garage, and also to the bins, so we have made advances there.

We moved from Bidborough to Tonbridge last May. Obviously a better place – here is an epitaph on a gravestone in the churchyard of the Parish Church!

Hail!

This stone marks the spot

Where a notorious sot

Doth lie;

Whether at rest or not

It matters not

To you or I.

Oft to the " Lion " he went, to fill his horn,

Now to the grave he's gone, to get it warm.

Beered by public subscription by his hale and stout companions,

Who deeply lament his absence.

 

Keep the contributions coming - and thanks to those who sent the following:

The Jewish Tie Salesman

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties.

The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties. I need water!

"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."

"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but... I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need... Go In Peace."

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he crawled back, almost dead and gasped...

"They won't let me in without a tie!

*****************************************

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones
are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol, 

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then You Are Probably

The Family Dog!

 

 

And finally this was done only once on the Johnny Carson Show in 1992. 

Fortunately, he recorded it, because it was never performed again.

The Great Flydini

 Have a good month!