Friday, 2 September 2016

It's the second of September



On this day the Great Fire of London started, the first ATM opened for business and  the Allies celebrated VJ day.

It’s also that time of the year when leaves begin to turn brown or red, and thoughts about Christmas begin to form. We have decided this year to take ourselves off to the seaside for Christmas and see if we can entice some of the family to join us – at least for Christmas lunch. We know that No. 2 son is off to foreign parts with his family, - to a man turning left as they get on the plane bound for, among other places, Borneo. Seems a strange place to go for Christmas, but if the opportunity arises, I suppose you should take it.

August was relatively quiet. Grand-daughter came to stay overnight the other day. It’s nice to have young people about. We fed and watered them and took them to see Swallows and Amazons at the local cinema. A gentle film, a bit like one of the Famous Five books by the sainted Enid Blyton, bit very enjoyable, and very different from the sort of films that they usually watch. Also taught them to play Mah Jongg which seemed to go down well, but they have always enjoyed playing board and card games. They asked to be taught bridge next time!! And strangely, I found that no-one had taught them to play chess, so this is all for the future.

Had the two-yearly CT scan to check that the stent that was put in to neutralise the aortic aneurism is still in place – and awaiting the result of that. Reverted to the Tonbridge School pool for swimming – but I may have to stop that if getting out does not get easier. I packed up the leisure Club at Tunbridge Wells because it is quite chaotic, and you can never tell if the pool, which is only 4 lanes and 20 metres, is going to be free, full of unscheduled private lessons or mother and baby sessions. Can’t complain about the latter, though – it is really important that kids are taught to swim at a very early age.

Lots of 50th wedding anniversaries about now. Life does seem to go in phases, - engagements, 21sts, weddings, births, and so on.

August, being holiday time, results in less incoming mail, and less entertainment. Thanks to Alan for the following:

AN AMAZING WALK ON "CHRIST THE REDEEMER", BRAZIL
If you suffer from vertigo, this might not be for you to watch…

THE EUROPEAN UNION, BREXIT - AND THE SURPRISINGLY TOPICAL SCRIPT FROM "YES, MINISTER"

FILM STAR AMBUSHED IN JUNGLE BY APES…

MY FOOTSTEPS?
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"


A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.
As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's...Father O'Malley."


+++
Another Golf Story


A pretty decent golfer enters a tournament and is assigned a caddie. On the first day, the golfer misses a few easy shots and turns in a poor round. He tries to forget about the first round, but on the second day, he scores even worse. The third day-worse yet. By the last day of the tournament, he's so disconcerted that he can't even break 100. Finally on the last hole, after one final chilli-dipped 9-iron he looks at his caddie, who has been very patient all week-end, and shouts: "You've got to be the worst caddie alive!"
The caddie thinks about this for a second, shrugs, and replies, "No, I don't think so, sir. That'd be too much of a coincidence!"


+++

That’s all we have to offer this month. Keep them coming.

No comments:

Post a Comment